Acting as if…without feeling like a fraud.

I suppose we have  all come upon the not-so-new age theory of acting as if a thing is true in order to attract it. I have given seminars on the subject;  one was called quite simply and to the point:  Create Your Own Reality.

No, it was not a support group for psychotics.  I read once, somewhere, that a neurotic is someone who builds castles in the air,  and a psychotic is someone who lives in them.  Creating our own reality,  however, in this sense, is altogether different.

Nonetheless, this acting as if  stuff can ring hollow for a lot of us, at least some of the time, and when that happens, our resolve weakens and we continue to push away our good.  I have  had participants in my workshops come up to me afterward,  inquiring about this acting as if,  claiming that they feel dishonest saying positive affirmations in current time because it is simply not the truth of their experience.   In other words,  I,  and others who encourage affirmations,  suggest you not say I am going to be happy, healthy, wealthy and wise, but, instead,  say I am happy, healthy, wealthy and wise.   My workshop attendees wanted to know how they could possibly say that when they were feeling anything but those things.  My suggestion was and is that if what you are affirming is what you truly desire to be your life experience, you must commit to saying it, believing it, and thinking of it as saying the truth in advance.

My father died at home under Hospice care in 1995.  Even with the morphine drops under his tongue, he was in pain, yet he lingered.  He just wouldn’t let go.  I thought, perhaps, he was hanging on because, even though the three of us, (my brother, sister and I), were grown, he felt he had not done right by us because he was not leaving us any money. He was always talking about that, how he was going to hit it big and leave us all enough money so we would never have to worry about money again.  He had played the lottery for years,  sometimes, we later learned,  spending as much as $50 a week.

So, I suggested to my mother that she tell him we had won the Florida lottery. At first she objected, saying she didn’t feel comfortable telling him such a lie, but I told her it was not a lie, that we could possibly win one day, so she was just telling him the truth in advance.  My father was pretty much out of it by then.  He wasn’t speaking, and only responded with grunts to certain questions.  My mother finally relented and as she leaned over the hospital bed, with a smile in her voice, she said, “Hon, we won the lottery.”  Then, with a little more verve to her voice, she said, “The big one! Seventeen million dollars!”  I laughed to myself, thinking she didn’t want to lie to him, but once she got into the spirit of the thing,  she obviously figured she might as well think BIG.  Way to go, Mom!

When my mother repeated to my father what she had said, the rest of us in the room corroborated it by high-fiving each other, and making all kinds of happy sounds.  Suddenly and very obviously, his face  softened, and the tightness in his expression evaporated.   A small smile even appeared on his lips.  He passed peacefully that evening.

My mother passed in 1998.  OK, Mom, so we have never  won the lottery.   At least, NOT YET.

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